Bobby John Winchester Campbell
by Ciya
Summary: A cracked alternate ending to "Two and A Half Men".


_An cracked alternate ending to "Two and A Half Men"._

**Bobby John Winchester Campbell**

"_The things I do for this family." - Christian Campbell_

Dean couldn't keep the grin off his face as he and Sam walked up to Christian's house. An hour earlier their cousin had called the Campbell compound screaming for help while weird sounds could be heard in the background. A small inkling started to crawl around in the back of Dean's head but the truth was a hell of a lot more interesting…and hilarious.

"What in the hell is going on Christian?" Samuel demanded, eyes swiveling between the young man clutching his shaking wife and at the house where sounds of a baby laughing in delight melded with a strange squishy exploding sound.

"That…that…that thing!" started the young red haired woman pointing at her house, "is ruining the décor!"

Christian replied, "sweetie, he's not a 'thing'…"

"Christian. Arlene. What's going on?" Samuel demanded again.

"All I did was put Bobby John…"

"Robert Jonathon."

"Uh yeah, Robert Jonathon," Christian sighed rubbing his forehead with his fingers, "on the floor and turned the TV on to PBS. He was squealing and sucking his toes," he said turning towards Samuel. A scowl crossed his face when he caught sight of Dean struggling not to laugh.

Arlene finished for him, "then he…then that baby," she shoved the word out of her mouth like she was sucking a lemon, "exploded all over the living room." Under her breath she muttered, "and I just painted damnit."

Samuel chuckled, "diapers will do that you know."

"Samuel I don't think that's what happened, am I right Christian?" Dean tried to keep the laughter out of his voice but couldn't quite manage it when his brother turned around from peaking through the living room window. Sam's look of unabashed glee was something Dean had thought he'd never see again. "What show was Bobby John watching when he 'exploded'?"

"I don't know. There were weird British voices, primary colors, the sun was a baby's face…I think one of them said something like 'Poe' but I don't think it was talking about Edgar Allan."

"Teletubbies," stated one of the other hunters from the compound.

"Their living room looks like a crayon factory exploded," Sam said laughing as he walked up to his brother, grandfather and cousins.

"The kid is a shapeshifter remember? What he sees is what he will turn into and it looks like the kid likes the Teletubbies." Dean gave up on all pretenses, turning around he braced himself against a mud splattered jeep and shook with laughter. His laughter rose in pitch with every succeeding squishy exploding sound emanating from Christian's house.

Gwen shook her head, delight evident on her face, "be glad it was the Teletubbies Christian cause it could have been much, much worse."

"Worse how?" he turned his head to look at her, body twitching every time an explosion sounded.

"He could have been watching Barney."

"Or Sesame Street," Sam chimed in.

"Or the Wiggles," Dean added mischievously.

Arlene stamped her foot crossly, "you said he was special Christian, 'special' doesn't cover the walls in primary colored, slimy goo."

Grinning and shaking his head, Sam smacked Dean on the back when his fits of laughter turned into coughing, in between gasps for breath Dean muttered, "whipish." Samuel and Gwen busted out laughing at the glare Arlene sent Dean as Christian led her away.

All to soon the main electric breaker was pulled and the lights in the house went out, the happy giggling dissolved into the cry of a baby who's favorite toy had been taken away. Laughter floated out of the house as Marc walked out carrying a squalling bundle and handed it over to Arlene. "Good thing 'Bobby' is gender neutral, cause I do believe your _daughter_ is a mite unhappy." Confused, Arlene pulled down the blanket to reveal a small, pale face surrounded by curly red hair.

"Oh my," she whispered, her eyes going wide.

Wiping tears from his eyes Dean leaned over to Sam and said quietly in his ear, "wait until the kid sees Star Trek."

"DSNine," Sam replied.

The brothers looked at each other for a long second before saying in unison, "Farscape."

Dean grinned, "hello baby D'Argo."

_**FIN**_


End file.
